The Dead Show!

So I've liked the Grateful Dead for years. One of my favorite bands of all time. A couple weeks ago a friend of mine called me with an extra ticket to their show at the Gorge. Actually, we were going to go to their show in 2004, but Amber was pregnant with the triplets and I didn't want to be 2 + hours away in case she needed me. Turns out, she didn't have the kids for about a month after that. Chalk it up to missed opportunities and fatherly responsibility, I guess?

But, I wasn't going to miss them this time. After all, they're already down a founding member and a handful of keyboardists. And this wasn't just a Dead show, the Allman Brothers were going to be there along with the Doobie Brothers. Is it clear why I couldn't miss this show? (Though I don't necessarily like the Doobie Brothers, they do have a ton of songs in regular rotation on classic rock stations.)

Instead of giving you a complete account of the show, I thought I would address the highlights through 10 Questions About the Dead.

1. What are the Grateful Dead? The Grateful Dead are one of the greatest bands of all time okay.

2. So why do the just call themselves The Dead now? In 1995, lead guitarist, singer and songwriter Jerry Garcia died. Now when the remaining original members play together they are just The Dead.

3. How would you describe their music? I like to describe their music as American Rock. They incorporate rock, blues, jazz, country, bluegrass etc. into their songs.

4. But, aren't they just a jam band? No. They're a jammin' band.

5. What kind of people like the Dead? All kinds. I saw complete families, hippies, bikers and stoners at the concert.

6. But, don't all the fans take drugs? Pretty much. There were a handful of people there that weren't on something. In the old days there was a lot of acid and marijuana etc. Now it seems like its mainly just pot. Though in a somewhat troubling scene, there were two couples in front of us with a 5 month old and a 12-14 month old. One of the husbands came back and I caught: "you'll enjoy your walk much more if..." and then they were chewing, I should say biting into, some tablets that looked like Mike and Ike's but weren't. The left after that so I can't report on the effects. I just hope those babies made it to bed okay.

7. So, how was the concert? It was a good show. They sounded really good. The guitarist that fills in for Jerry is great. They played a diverse set heavy on the late 70's and 80's material with some other gems thrown in. They played for over 3 hours.

8. How were the other bands. The Doobie Brothers played first. We got there about the middle of their set. They played all of their hits and sounded good, but not interesting. The Allman Brothers were great. Warren Haynes, who plays Jerry's parts with the Dead also plays with them. They played 2 hours straight.

9. So, are you glad you went? Definitely. It was a great show. Even though I got a really bad headache towards the end and threw up out of the car window on I-90.

10. Would you go again? Yes. As they say, "There's nothing like a Dead show".

Here are some pictures:

Here's me. Notice the strollers and kids in the background.

Here's the view of the Gorge:

Here's the stoners that sat in front of us:

I think they just came for the drugs. They didn't seem to be affiliated with or interested in any of the bands.

Here's the band:

Here are some random Deadheads from the show:

I didn't take this picture, but they had better seats than I did.

Here's the blanket I sat on:

That's my leg!

Here's the view from where we sat:

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Thanks for checking me out this week. Sorry for the delay on this one. I started writing it last Saturday before the show with the intent that I would finish it up early in the week. Well, I tried a couple of times and didn't know where I was going with it. But, here it is. Check back soon for other great posts. I put up a new feature last week so I wouldn't forget what has been requested.

Also, check out the new poll and cast your vote. All I can say is that it's important. So VOTE okay. Last poll there was a four way tie, so who knows what you're going to get with that post. I don't know any other blog that allows as much reader interaction as this one. Use it or lose it...

The Art of the Deal...

Alright, so can I brag a little? I know that I have set the bar pretty high here, but this might just raise it again. Possible? Yes!

So, Saturday came around as usual. On Saturday mornings, we clean. I handle a mean vacuum, but that's a topic for another day. We finished early. Before Maggie's nap. Made great time. Friday night Annie asked me for some glue to make a Mother's Day project for Amberlyn. (I presume that most of my readers are close acquaintances and therefore know my family, so for those of you from Waterloo, Ontario and around the world you will just have to bear with the personal references). Unfortunately, we didn't have any except for some rubber cement and you know what a mess that is.

Skip ahead to Office Depot. Now I spent some time as an associate at one of Office Depot's main competitors, OfficeMax. So, you could say they knew I was coming.

I saw it as soon as we got there. It was displayed on an endcap in the electronics. A clearance item, mail-in rebate, the "Last One". Let the negotiations begin. I was ready.

Then I waited. And waited. The kids were restless. I was chomping at the bit to get my claws into the unsuspecting Depot sales team.

I called on my negotiating idols.

Corleone

Trump

Spacey

I got the Department Manager. The Paper Department Manager...

She was frazzled already. They were busy. Did I mention I was ready?

I'll spare you the carnage, buy suffice it to say that I got the winning end of that deal.

The result: I walked out of there with a good laptop for... Ready? $200.00.*

My idols would be proud...

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Hey thanks for stopping by. I know you don't have much time in your day and I want you to know that I appreciate you. If it wasn't for you, who would read this? Anyway, check back soon for some new topics. I added a list of upcoming posts so that I can keep track of the ones I blatantly ignore. You can't always follow the voice of the people. But don't despair, your voice will be heard.

On that topic, make sure you check out the new poll on the top right. Every vote counts. Double votes count twice. Feel free to double up.

*So, they couldn't find the battery so they dropped the price in half. I did get her to drop the price an additional 10% before that happened. Also, the after market battery was only $68. So it's still a great deal, Okay?

J-E-R-K C-H-I-C-K-E-N

Jamaica is an island in the Caribbean.

Early inhabitants of the region included Caribs, the Arawak and the Maroons.

Rarely does one forget to include the Taino Indians in that list.

Keeping up?

Charqui, the root of the English word "jerk", means dried meat in Quechua.

Hot peppers are combined with Jamaican pimento to make the Jerk seasoning.

Incans don't use Jerk seasoning.

Cherokees either.

Kentucky is known for their fried chicken.

Everyone loves fried chicken.

Not everyone loves Jerk chicken.

Well, these people do...

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Well, thanks again y'all. Not sure why Jerk Chicken won the last poll. I thought you would pick Happier Times for sure. Who doesn't like to think about happier times? I sure do. I love it. Feel free to take a stab and this week's poll on the top left. That's top right for those of you seeking relative accuracy. And don't forget to vote early and often. Unlike in national elections, we don't publicly frown on duplicate votes while secretly hoping for them.

Another thing: If you guys are reading this, shouldn't you add your name to the Followers List and "get up on this crazy train"?

How?

[Quick Disclaimer: This is not a serious Blog. The content is comedic in nature and doesn't reflect the writer's racial views in any way. Got it? I didn't have to say this about Canadians, but I guess I do here.]

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One of the most important public service announcements of the last 30 years starred a brave Native American who took on a critical problem facing America. Take a minute to see for yourselves. Beware. The following video has been known to elicit uncontrollable crying and general bad feelings from all who watch it.

I hope you had a box of tissues nearby. I should have mentioned that before. I barely made it to the bathroom myself before my shirt was completely soaked.

Now take a moment with me to recollect this poor man's journey. It began in what appeared to be a pristine river. Our hero started out on an innocent canoe ride. (It must have relaxed him). Only to find refuse in the river. Going further it appears that he experienced a time warp into the 1970s, 1971 to be exact, landing in a major commercial port, passing evil factories and power plants only to find that perhaps that meadow that he was travelling to was overcome by highways and cars. Not to mention the litter. The place was riddled with it. His only recourse at the time was what many of us might have. The shedding of a tear.

That brings another question to mind: Was our hero crying because of modern society's negative impact against the environment or because of the complete unfamiliarity of his surroundings? I mean he probably left his squaw back in his village. With his two children Walks with Elk and Stands like Oak. If he really did take a time warp, which for all intents and purposes would have been the only way he could have arrived where he did, he would never see them again. Nor would he fit in with the kickin' styles of the 70's in his full leather Native American clothing, not counting certain pop bands of the era. Imagine the looks he got. That would be enough for most men to turn their faces in shame.

What became of our hero? Did he go on a scalping rampage? Trade skins for wampum? Get smallpox? We will never know. All I do know is that from now on if a crying indian comes up to me, I won't shun him. I will embrace him. He most likely just misses his family and is searching for a way back to his wife and children. To which I say: Happy journeys dear friend, happy journeys. In the meantime, I just need to figure out how to reverse a time warp. How hard could that be?

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Thanks for checking out this week's post. I hope to be getting back on track soon. Check out my new poll by the way on the top left. See it? Now, take a moment to think of all of your friends who might not be checking out my blog right now and vote for them. It's what a friend would do. Isn't it?

Was that February we just passed?

So I realize that I am a month behind on my posts. I typically like to post once a week. I started to do eighties fashion a couple times, but stopped. I'm just not that into it. Move on already... Sorry to those of you pining for that post. Here's a picture I was going to use:

Those guys know what's hip...

As you may be able to tell from this picture, I was not necessarily going to write about fashion in the 1980s, but possibly fashion for people in their 80s. That may have been funnier, but I wasn't sure. Just in case, I looked for some 1980's fashion photos as well.

Here's an example:

We all wore Underoos in the 80s right? And check out those guns!

Okay... Here's another:

Reminds me of Beat Street...Not Breakin' or Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo... Beat Street

But, as you know, I seem to have taken February off. Maybe it was the inordinate amount of holidays for such a short month... Amber's Birthday, Valentine's Day, President's Day, Lincoln's Birthday, Washington's Birthday, Ground Hog Day, Boy Scout Day, Kite Flying Day, Umbrella Day, White T-Shirt Day, Toothache Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day to name just a few.

February also has the Day the Music Died. That's the day when Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and The Big Bopper died in a plane crash...(They were rock and roll stars in the 195os. Rock and roll was genre of music made popular in the 1950s which was derived from the Blues among other things). I thought that was good to add from my readers who were born after 1985. They're still just little.

Alright... Here's a picture:

To top it all off, February is Black History Month. Add the study of Black History to the numerous of holidays and you have no time left for the sometimes frivolous, though always informative, posting that goes on here.

I don't think March will be as jam-packed. I'm not even going to look at my calendar...

That must be what this very fashionable octogenarian is doing...

Did I mention that Mardi Gras was in February...

Until next time...

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Hey, I really am sorry for not doing that Eighties Fashion post. With such a great response to the poll you would think I would have jumped right on it to please my readers. Nope.

Anyway, I have added a new poll on the top left where you can weigh in on your opinion as well as the opinion of as many dead people and pets that you should feel free to vote for as well.

Oh... In case you're wondering, February is really a packed month. There is literally a holiday every day of the month. And it's not only Black History Month but:

American Heart Month
An Affair to Remember Month
Canned Food Month
Creative Romance Month
Great American Pie Month
National Cherry Month
National Children’s Dental Health Month
National Grapefruit Month
National Weddings Month

Now you can see why I was so busy...It was Canned Food Month people...

Rock and Roll Fantasy!

This week I wanted to give you a little something about my time in the entertainment industry. It's a tough nut to crack, that's for sure and I know that many of you harbor aspirations to be the next big thing. Everyone wants to rock. That much we know...

Life as a rocker wasn't easy. There's the practice, the rejection, the late hours. But it's worth it for the sake of rock, cool clothes and adrenaline rush from being on stage. And don't forget the babes. Hot Babes.

A few people already know about by rock and roll prowess. To some it has reached mythical proportions. (I should say that they think it's a myth that I even play guitar).

I started playing in my room in 8th grade. I followed the likes of the Beatles, Led Zeppelin and The Dead Milkmen. From there, I joined a few bands in high school. Epitaph, Jubilee Baha Brothers and Glucose Toad to name just a few. But I felt that there was more...

It all started my freshman year of college where I met Eric Hauck and Shad Smith. Who knew that three years later we would start one of the most amazing bands of 1997 and 1998.

THRIFTY SPACKLE

The summer of 1997 Eric contacted me and convinced me to bring my electric guitar to school with me that year. He knew I'd be ready to rock. That summer he penned such classics as All Ears, It's the Truth and Francis. All Ears later became a staple of our live shows. At our first full practice with Dan the drummer we knew it was something. We rocked so hard you could see the walls crying tears of joy. We were all drenched.

Our first show was in a pretty popular local hangout in Provo, the Roman Gardens' patio. You don't have to read that again. You read it right the first time. Pretty exclusive place. We rocked it with a Rentals cover band and Tim Boisvert. Impressive company, I know... Unfortunately, no footage remains from that show. The Rock Gods still weep because of it.

But then there was Mama's Cafe. THE place in Provo for hot bands to rock. I remember it was a week night. A well sought after date to be sure. It started with this:

All Ears:

Jim (Guitar), Shad (Vocals), Eric (Bass), Dan (Drums)

Have you sat back down? I know that got you to your feet. We played for about an hour that night. But my personal favorite was this gem...

Wonderful Spatula:

Who would have thought that a song about a kitchen device could be so moving and so rockin' at the same time. Sadly, only one other show exists. The BYU Halloween Bash

Now, along with my lead guitar duties, I sang a couple of my own songs. They were generally acoustic based and only sometimes turned from love songs to songs about Jews.
Here is one of them from the BYU show.

Don't Know:

I'm sure you noticed the raw emotion spewing out of me. As well as the pleas to the crowd not to leave because of the touching feelings that I'm sure were their reason for leaving early. Not to mention the impressive display of plaids that only a true rocker can get away with.

Finally, I will share one of the little known tracks. I guess we only played it one time, since until recently I didn't remember ever playing it, but it was a rocker and was about everyone's dream to be a Jellyfish.

If I was a Jellyfish:

The Rock Gods smiled on us that day in October. I probably even made out with a hot babe that night.

After the BYU show, Dan left the band on study abroad and we got a new drummer from the music department, but we had only one show left and it was panned by the critics and club management as being too loud. We never played live again. But there are these moments...and that's important. Now I dabble here and there and Eric does an annual Cul-De-Sac of Fire on the 4th of July, but nothing will compare to those days. The hits, the misses and the rock. Maybe we will have a Thrifty Spackle reunion sometime. But until then, it's just the memories.

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Thanks for checking out my post this week. Check back soon for new posts. One thing about the polls... They need more votes. A tie between three great topics doesn't work. That's why I keep encouraging you to vote for your neighbors, friends and dead relatives. Maybe now that ACORN will be getting a few billion of the stimulus money we'll get more votes.

If you want to see and hear more Thrifty Spackle including .mp3s that you can download to your Ipods check out http://www.thehaucks.com/ThriftySpackle/

Man's Best Friend?

In researching for this post I learned quite a bit. Everyone knows that most dogs are pleasers. They just want their human masters to be happy. But what about those dogs that think they have a higher calling? They don't want to be trapped in a life of fulfilling their master's every need. For those dogs simply can't live under what they see as the totalitarian hand of man. We as humans need to tolerate them and embrace our differences. They deserve that much.

With that said, in an attempt to celebrate dogs and their diversions and accomplishments, I dedicate this post...

Dogs are natural athletes. They love to run and jump and play. Anything. They want to compete and show their chops. They also like to lick their chops, but that is another story. They do have large tongues... Back to the topic at hand. Take this dogs for instance:

Can you feel that intensity? What a winner! I can tell he's all about pushing the limits of competition. Feeling the adrenaline rush that comes with the struggle between mind and body.

*

I think you know what I mean... Take a look at these studs:

They're going all out baby! You can't deny them... No way!!!

Alright... Time to catch your breath... I mean it. I know you see what I see...

*

Focus:

Dedication:

Precision:

Hubris:

But don't get me wrong, dogs do enjoy human pastimes as well:

They Surf:

They swim:

They Hunt:

They play Poker:

And when the win, they know how to party:

But, just like humans, some can't hold their liqueur:

I think you understand where I'm coming from now. So lets embrace them. If you have a dog, let it run free, pull a sled, do an obstacle course once in a while. They deserve it.

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Thanks for checking out this week's post. And for voting on the poll. As you can see, a new poll has been posted. So if you would, please rock the vote. It's all you can do.

I know some of you might say, what happened to Hamburger Joints, wasn't there a tie for first in the poll? The answer is yes. But, I felt that it was the right time in to do this important post. Hamburger Joints may emerge gloriously one day, but for now, just take a minute and think..."Has my appreciation for the canine increased?" Enough said.

Hello...

Hello my friends. I have missed you. With the free time over the holidays you would think I could have posted something profound for you...I had several ideas that seemed to fade.

I was going to do a year in review, but I think it's too late for that now...

I was going to do a post on December holidays, but that fizzled...

Is it still Kwanzaa? Be right back... Nope. That ended January 1...

I think I will ease into the new year. Nobody get stressed. Okay?

I will be back with more posts soon enough. I promise.

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I have decided to revert to my previous polling method. Check out the new poll that's up... I don't think I need to tell you what to do with that. Rock It?

Banker's Dozen

This week I thought I would post about a group that plays a major role in our society...Bankers.

A banker is a person that you give your money to for safekeeping who in turn uses that money to make investments and generate a profit for the bank.

Here's a German banker in Iowa. Not sure what he was doing there, but he seems innocent enough. He probably kept most of the money from his bank in the vault for safekeeping.

A vault is a place where bankers keep money for safekeeping.

Here's one. The door is thick so that thieves can't come in. Unless you find a mathematical formula where the exact amount of vibration causes the vault to become unstable at an elemental level in order for thieves to walk through. Have I ever asked you if you watch Fox's new hit series Fringe?

When I think of bankers from the old days, I imagine them with armbands on their shirt sleeves.

Like this:

This is a store clerk. He's not real. Or a banker, but this is the best my research team could come up with. Great job guys.

This guy goes for a little more protection:

He's Zorro's Banker.

Nowadays, bankers wear their armbands in a little different place:

Doesn't that stretch them out?

Sometimes bankers meet the president:

Here's some with President Coolidge in 1923.

Here's one with President Bush:

I think this guy's in charge of something important. But, I'm not supposed to trouble myself with understanding such things...

Sometimes bankers have bad days:

There, there...

In the Great Depression, some had very bad days:

Don't try this!

I guess when the bottom falls out of this economy, our bankers might do it like this:

Don't do it Banker!!!!

I almost think of pulling the trigger after hearing this guy talk:

Who doesn't?

Well... and maybe this guy:

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Hi. Jim here. Thanks for checking out my blog. Feel free to leave your comments. My niece just started blogging again after a couple of months and my other niece said that reader comments can really inspire...I agree with that by the way...

Also, check out the new poll. Also if you decide to vote for a homeless Santa or two, go ahead. They might not have Internet access. So rock it for them!

Not a Dork!

Just for the record...

Amber posted abou how much of a dork she is today. I couldn't agree more with some of her points.

I just want to make sure everyone that reads my blog knows that I am NOT a dork. No way. NO FREAKIN' WAY!

Nobody that knows as much about Fried Chicken, Carnies, Canadians and Nijas could possibly be a dork. And don't forget, the ULINE Catalog is not a catalog for dorks, it's a catalog for men. Really cool men....

Oh, and I just signed up for Facebook and I LOVE it!

That's not dorky right?

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I'm actually glad Amber posted on this. I didn't have a very good feeling about what I was going to post on so this gives me a mulligan I guess.

I have put a new poll up so I you could glance up to the right and select the answer best meets your thoughts on the poll, that would be great. Rocking the vote will never feel better.

I'm not quite sure about my next topic, so if you have suggestions, let me know.