Ninjapedia!

I told you a few weeks back that I know more about Ninjas than I can and still be safe in society. Now, I know this can be dangerous. Trust me, I do. But, I also know the interest level is high. And who am I to keep these truths from my faithful followers. Before going on, I will tell you this: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

And now, some little known facts about Ninjas...

Fact 1: Ninjas are human.

While they look super cool in those black Ninja suits and you can never see their eyes, Ninjas are humans. They do have eyes. In fact, their eyes are so powerful, that they can see fear oozing out of their victims. I've been told it looks like pink marshmallow fluff. Some are so advanced that they eat it on peanut butter sandwiches after slaying their victims.

They also have hearts that pump the ice-water that flows in their veins. The more experienced Ninjas have nitroglycerin in their veins. They've earned it. Do they bleed you ask? The answer is No. That's because they are never injured. They are so strong, fast and cunning that they never suffer carnage of their own. They only leave it in their wake.

Fact 2: Those aren't really Ninja suits.

One of the first things that differentiate Ninjas from other humans is that at age 5 their outer layer of skin mutates into a silky super cool protective outer shell. That's one of the reasons they are never injured in a fight. While not noticeable to the natural human eye if a Ninja ever suffers a blow from an enemy, the silky super cool protective outer shell becomes as hard as diamonds. Actually harder. You could CUT diamonds with it it's so hard. And because the "Ninja suit" is part of their bodies it never hinders their ability to annihilate their opposition.

Fact 3: Ninjas never sleep.

They use their down time to strategize, hone their skills and catch up on their favorite books. Because the number of Ninjas is limited to a select few, it is vital that they excel in all areas. If it were possible for them to be in our presence without killing us, they would enlighten us with their advanced learning and appreciation of the arts.

The lack of sleep allows them to rely more fully on their senses. As with their eyes, their ears are also more developed that the typical human. They can extend their hearing range to decipher enemy signals, chatter and out of market radio stations that help them maintain their advantage over their foes.

Fact 4: Ninjas especially hate Pirates.

While this fact is more widely known, it's important to consider. Pirates are the anti Ninja. They are lazy, dirty, foul smelling uneducated boobs. They also wear really stupid outfits. Who thinks a hook for a hand it cool anyway? And that eye patch? That's appealing. Fact is, Ninjas could kill all the pirates in the world in a matter of seconds. Their slothful manner is no match for a simple and precise Ninja attack. Why don't they kill them then? If there were no pirates in the world, it might lessen the respect and admiration that Ninjas enjoy because of the comparison. Plus they really like to think of new ways to rip on them. That's something else they do in their down time.

Fact 5: Ninjas are AWESOME!

There's no denying this fact. While we are lucky to be alive with the Ninja activity in the world, they truly are an essential element here on Earth. We are lucky to have their contributions to society. While they are often misunderstood because of their propensity to kill and the sheer efficiency that they use to dominate their enemies, they do have feelings. Even if those feelings are generally fury, rage and blood lust, they still appreciate it when we consider them.

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Well, I hope this was an education for you. You now know significantly more about Ninjas than most of the unsuspecting world around you. I will tell you one thing however. For your own safety, you must never speak of the things on this post. FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY! If this turns out to be my last post because of the information divulged, it was worth it. You may have noticed that I made it a point not to divulge any sources and made it sound like I made most of this stuff up. I did that for my own protection.

Make sure to check back tomorrow for a new poll. Every vote counts even if it's manufactured so Rock It!

Don't be afraid to comment on this post. One of the only things Ninjas aren't great at is navigating the Internet.